Life Changes

Our lives are changed by the experiences that come our way.  Whether we acknowledge it or not, whether we embrace it or not, our lives ARE shaped by our experiences.    

Maybe you  have:

Survived cancer. 

Had a baby.  Or babies.  

Lost a baby.  Or multiple babies. 

Got married. 

Experienced divorce. 

Lost a spouse to death.  Or a sibling, parent, grandparent, best friend. 

Maybe you are estranged from your child or children.

Maybe you have experienced a horrible injustice.  

Prejudicism or racism. 

Lost a job.  

Landed your dream job. 

Bought a house. 

Wrote a book. 

Wrote a best selling book.  

Lost a lot of weight - or gained it.  

Started working out, jogging, painting, or golfing.  

Survived major surgery. 

Maybe you have endured a global pandemic. Or should I say, are enduring it.  

Maybe you have survived a near death experience.  

Have you ever thought about the things that truly change your life?  

I encourage you to make that list. Take some time and really reflect. Start journaling about all the things that have shaped you and the life you are living today - good or bad. Make the the list.  

And then start to reflect on it.  

How have your experiences shaped you? Do you think about these things? Or do you hide them away in your heart, afraid to even think about them? Do some things just hurt too badly to even acknowledge them?

I have shared with you the experience of losing my brother, the promise I made to him, and the dream I had soon after he died. My father died only four years after we lost my brother, and I made a promise to him, too, that I would use my life to make a difference in the lives of others.  

So why do some people use life-changing experiences to actually change their lives while others ignore the experiences and pretend they never happened? And why do some people make changes for good while others choose to take life experiences and wallow in self-pity and self-destruction?  

It has been said that experience is the best teacher - let’s add to that. Experience is the best teacher for those who WANT TO BE TAUGHT. 

So what can our life experiences teach us? And what should we do with what we are learning? 

Let’s talk about a few lessons our life and the things that we experience can teach us:

1. The lesson of Failure - and how to move on from failure. Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” It is the courage to continue that counts. It is the courage to CONTINUE that counts.  

Failure is a part of life. An important part of life. Only after failures do we experience and appreciate success.  There cannot be success with failure. Failure is part of the journey.   

2.  The lesson that life happens - pain comes to all at some point - and the sun will still rise tomorrow. 

Pain is no respecter of persons. We ALL experience pain- physical and emotional. Breaking both of my wrists (with accompanying surgery on BOTH)  in the space of three short years certainly brought a lot of physical pain. But I also learned lessons about myself.  I learned that not resting makes one a bit..clumsy. I learned that I can recover and regain my strength. I learned that day by day, I can choose to get stronger or I can feel sorry for myself and give up.  

Losing loved ones, losing a baby, going through a divorce, and being estranged from my children all came with excruciating emotional pain. But again, I learned that I can pick up the pieces and make something beautiful out of my experiences - learn from them - examine my inner most being - take responsibility  - or I can wallow. And I have found, through experience, that wallowing brings bitterness and bitterness brings self-sabotage and self-sabotage brings a life of being stuck on the sidelines.  It simply isn’t pretty - or worth it.  

Pain is hard, make no mistake.  

The question isn’t, “will I experience pain?” The question is, “What will I DO with the pain?” 

3.  The lesson of purpose.  Or purposes. We ALL have a reason for being alive. When my oldest brother died of cancer at 48, it made me take notice of my life. What WAS my purpose?  Is being born and dying all there is? Or IS there a point to it all? You see - life experiences can show us our true callings - but we have to be available and open to the lessons. God has a reason for me being alive. No, I am not capitalizing on tragedy.  But I AM open to what those experiences can and will teach me. If you have been through a tragedy, a near-death experience, a life-changing event - what have you learned about you? Or have you?  

Which brings us to the question - why do some people learn from the events in their lives and make positive changes while others choose to let those experiences drag them into the pit of despair? And why, when you decide to make a positive change, do others sometimes want to pull you back into that horrible pit with them, almost angry at you for changing for the better?  

Quite frankly, because positive change is HARD WORK. It requires self-reflection, taking responsibility, feeling the pain, and being WILLING to change.  There is no way to get around it. It’s work.  It requires facing fears and running INTO the fear.  It requires asking the hard questions, feeling pain, tearing down barriers, setting boundaries, and maybe even walking away from toxic environments. In other words, getting real with yourself. And taking action. 

And sometimes, others just aren’t ready to see you - or support you - in making those changes.  

And that’s okay. It’s all part of the process.  

You have to be okay with not everyone - or make anyone - in your life being okay with you deciding to let your life experiences shape you into a better you.  Not everyone will be okay with you embracing life purposes and life change. Let them accuse you, be okay with it.  

You are on YOUR journey. They are on THEIRS.  If they are meant to join you, they will. If not, you will find and discover those who DO support you.  

Learn from your life experiences. LET them change you for the positive. Embrace your reason WHY you are changing.  

You are worth it.  

You are valuable.  

You are amazing. 

Your promised journal prompt: I am created for great things. I pursue excellence. I have learned these lessons from my life experiences:  

I love you. I am your biggest fan. I mean it.  

Now get out there and be the person you were created to be - strong, amazing, fabulous and excellent. You are life-changer. Pow-Pow!