Why Listening Beats Talking in Leadership
When you picture a strong leader, what comes to mind?
Is it someone who commands the room?
Speaks confidently and decisively?
Always has the answer ready?
That’s how many of us were taught to define leadership—especially those of us who came up through corporate environments or formal leadership training. I know I was taught that way. Speak fast. Speak confidently. Always know what to say next.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned through years of leadership, coaching, and lived experience:
The most effective leaders don’t talk the most.
They listen the best.
The Myth We’ve Been Sold About Leadership
Somewhere along the way, leadership got confused with performance.
We were told:
Be the loudest in the room
Be the fastest to answer
Never let anyone see you hesitate
Always have a solution ready
But real leadership doesn’t come from performing certainty.
It comes from creating safety.
When leaders talk too much, something subtle—but dangerous—happens. People stop offering ideas. Innovation shuts down. Teams disengage. And eventually, the mindset becomes:
“Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”
That’s not leadership.
That’s compliance.
Talking Makes You Heard. Listening Makes You Trusted.
Talking can get attention.
Listening builds trust.
And trust is the foundation of influence, clarity, and impact.
When people feel heard, they engage.
When they feel dismissed, they withdraw.
I see this constantly when working with organizations: leaders who believe they’re being crystal clear, while their teams are quietly confused, frustrated, or checked out. Not because the leader lacks intelligence—but because they aren’t listening deeply enough to understand what’s actually happening.
Listening Is Not Weak—It’s Strategic
Let’s be clear: listening does not mean being passive, invisible, or indecisive.
True listening is active.
It’s intentional.
It’s leadership in motion.
When you listen well, you:
Create psychological safety
Invite honest communication
Gain insight you could never access by talking
Empower others to think, contribute, and lead
Build credibility without raising your voice
Strong leaders don’t need to dominate conversations because their presence already carries weight.
Leadership Isn’t Just for CEOs
If you’re thinking, “This doesn’t apply to me—I’m not a leader,” let me stop you right there.
You are a leader.
You lead:
Yourself
Your family
Your relationships
Your work
Your influence in the world
And leadership always starts with how you communicate—especially how you listen.
If you can lead yourself well, you can lead others well. And self‑leadership requires listening too: to your intuition, your limits, your values, and your growth edges.
What Happens When Leaders Listen
When leaders listen:
Teams feel safe to speak up
Creativity expands instead of shrinking
Problems get solved earlier
People feel valued—not managed
Connection replaces control
That’s the kind of leadership we need more of right now.
Not louder.
Not faster.
Not more dominant.
But more present.
More curious.
More grounded.
A Question to Sit With This Week
Here’s something I want you to reflect on:
When was the last time you listened—not to respond, not to fix, but to truly understand?
And how might your leadership shift if listening became your strongest skill?
We’re going to spend the next several weeks unpacking leadership and communication in a deeper way—because the world doesn’t need more noise.
It needs leaders who know how to listen.
I’m so glad you’re here for the conversation.