Boundaries

I had a conversation recently with someone who was telling me about a boss who calls all the time, all hours of the night, all hours of the morning, always texting, calling, emailing, expecting responses, just like that. ever been there? I have I ever had employers that expected me to be on call 24 seven. I had a job at one point in my life where I was transcribing medical records. And I got calls in the middle of the night just to transcribe emergency reports all the time. disrupted sleep all the time. I remember one time I was in a store shopping a couple of days before Christmas. And I had scheduled this entire day to go Christmas shopping and enjoy myself I had peppermint hot chocolate in my hand, looking at Christmas things Christmas music is playing I was so enjoying myself, my phone rang and I looked down. And it was this company that I worked for. Picked it up. We need this transcribed immediately. I'm not home, well, how long will it take you to get home and do this report. I drove home and typed the report what I answered emails on my days off, I took work on vacation. I took phone calls, from vendors, from employees from payroll companies, when I was on a dream vacation at the aulani Resort in Hawaii. With the time change, I was getting calls at two three in the morning, and I took the calls. And I was sharing with this person I was speaking to the reason you're getting these calls, is because you take them. The reason they text you when you're not at work is because you answer them. You will only be treated in the manner in which you allow yourself to be treated.

You will be treated in the manner in which you allow yourself to be treated, if you are to being taken advantage of it's simply because you are allowing it in your life. I know that sounds harsh, but it is the truth.

When that was pointed out to me, and when I realized that the the fault was my own it hurt. But I knew it was true. And I knew that I was the only one who could change it. And I decided to change it. You see every job I went to I was treated the same. And I would leave a job and go to another job expecting to be treated differently. Because it was a different place. Certainly this employer wasn't going to take advantage of me. But it happened everywhere I went every single job I had. And not just job but life in general. Everywhere I went, people took advantage of me. I was doing all the work. I was working at all hours of the night I was doing the things nobody else wanted to do things far outside of my job description, saying yes to things I didn't want to say yes to. And my husband would always say, just leave that place. I'm going to go beat him up, you know, coming to my rescue. And then one day, at yet another job where I was being taken advantage of he sat down I said why does this always happen to you? Why does this always happen to you? And it was a wake up call. It was a wake up call? Why does this always happen to you? I was the common denominator. I was the common denominator. Every problem I had in a previous job, I took to another job. every promise problem I had in a previous friendship I took into new friendships. And that problem was that I didn't set boundaries and hold those boundaries for myself and my life. I didn't have a list of my top non negotiables in my life. And so I was treated with disrespect. I was walked all over I was taken advantage of and the only person whose fault it was was my own. There will always be people, employers, friends, family who try to take advantage of you. There are going to be people who try.

The only person who can put a stop to be being taken advantage of though is you people will try it doesn't mean they have to succeed. And if your boundaries are set and you do not let people encroach on your boundaries, you cannot be taken advantage of. You're the only person who can stop it and you're worth it. Set your boundaries. Make your list of your top 10 non negotiables Top 10 non negotiables make one of them I will not be treated with disrespect I will not be taken advantage of non negotiable One of my non negotiables is that I do not go to meetings that start after 7pm Eastern Standard Time. I do not take those meetings. Because on the flip side of that is that one of my top 10 non negotiables is that I honor my body with adequate sleep. If I want to get up at 430 in the morning, it means I go to bed between 830 and nine o'clock. So I've set that as a non negotiable. So when someone says, hey, there's this great meeting, it starts at 830 No, it doesn't make you mean to set boundaries. It makes you strong. It doesn't make you a snob to have strong boundaries that makes you an empowered woman, an empowered person. Set your boundaries, make your list of your top 10 non negotiables share them with me. I would love to hear your non negotiables for how you will be treated in your life. And then revisit those top 10 non negotiables every single month you're worth it. I am your biggest fan.

Do not let yourself get walked all over. It's up to you. Your choice. Life is short, choose wisely. What is your choice