Those Words That Keep You Stuck for Years

I hope you have your coffee or your tea and you are ready to do a little bit of reminiscing with me. It's summertime so I thought we would head back into summer camp. Did you ever go remember summer camp the fun the campfires the singing around the campfire, the laughter the friendships and the horrible food. That horrible food that we can week would convince ourselves was the best food ever. The stuffy cabins with bunk beds, and something that was supposed to be a mattress on those bunk beds. But really, really it was more like a torture chamber with spring sticking up that attacked you in the middle of the night. And the bugs. Oh the bugs. And let's not forget the best part, the fun care packages and letters from home. My grandmother used to send her famous banana nut bread and chocolate chip cookies. She would use popcorn as packing peanuts and she would send enough for an army.

My friends and cabin mates loved my grandmother's care packages and they came quite regularly. One time my dad who's a musician and owns a music store sent a box of nose flutes for the entire camp nose flutes. I had to look this up to see if they are still a thing and Yep, yep, turns out they are. Look it up. Anyhow, this entire box of nose flutes showed up in a care package enough for everyone in the camp. My dad had included a note that said these were not to be used by anyone experiencing a cold or nasal congestion of any kind as it could be quite messy. What amazing fun. We all had playing our nose flutes, they were such a huge hit. We even use them in one of our weekly concerts seriously, even the adults of the camp had a great time with those silly plastic nose flutes. And then there are the camp counselors who always seem so old. But let's be honest, the counselors were really just kids who had happened to have been graduated from high school, maybe even just graduated from high school. And inevitably, US young teenage girls would have a crush on one of the older guy counselors. It gave us something to talk about as we were falling asleep on those torturous mattresses. at the camp I went to the guy counselors would stand under the windows around nine o'clock each night and saying good night, ladies. Good night, ladies. Good night, ladies.

We're going to leave you know, I think that's from The Music Man. But I'm not sure. Of course, after they were under our windows singing that in harmony, we would start discussing which of the guys counselors was the cutest. I mean, come on. Come on. If you have ever been a teenage girl, you know exactly what I'm talking about. This is a no judgment zone. I started going into camp around the summer of 1979. I was 13 in junior high. And if you haven't picked up on it with all of the music references, it was a music camp. I went for two weeks my first year and for a month to six weeks every year after through my senior year of high school. It was intense. We had lessons a few times a week and each of those lessons are an hour long. I studied both voice and piano and for each hour of lessons. A week you were required an hour of practice a day. So two hours of vocal and an hour of piano practice daily. We had Sundays off. Then there was choir practice Symphony if you were in the symphony, we had chapel in the morning, a concert every single Saturday night. It was intense. So when we could let down We would just have fun. I was gregarious, I loved to laugh, to sing to just have fun. I love to laugh. I love to make other people laugh. I was the outgoing extrovert. I was a sanguine. I loved having fun. making other people laugh, made me feel joy. My maiden name was Berger. And there was this counselor there that I thought was everything. And when you're 13, and you you know what that means, right? I hung on every word. He said. He was probably 18 maybe 17. Definitely out of high school. But in my eyes, he was all knowing and all wonderful. Remember, I was 13.

One day, it came back to me that he had called me quote, the burger Broadcasting System. Unquote. He called me this because I was loud, too much over the top. Remember, I love to have fun. I love to laugh. I can remember those feelings like this happened yesterday. The Berger Broadcasting System. I was devastated. I was heartbroken. I was absolutely crushed. I cried for hours. He apologized. I mean, he actually felt horrible. I'm sure he had no idea how his words were going to affect me. But they did affect me. And they didn't just affect me, then. They affected me for years, years. decades. I vowed that I would be learned I would learn to be quiet like my roommates. In my mind. What this counselor was saying was that likable girls are quiet. Loud girls are obnoxious. Girls that like to laugh and have fun. And be gregarious, are obnoxious. Girls that speak up, are not likable. And I vowed that I would learn to be quiet like my roommates. I vowed I would not speak up, I would just keep quiet. And I created a story that in order to be truly liked, I had to learn to be like the quote unquote, likable girls. For years, I tried to be who I was not. And I rarely was who I actually was that happy go lucky girl that loves to laugh and make others laugh stayed hidden. She wasn't likable. She was obnoxious. She was too much. Those words, the burger Broadcasting System kept me stuck for years. For almost 40 years, those words played in my head like a broken record. And when I would be me, I would immediately berate myself for being unable to be likable and quiet. I would shame myself for not being able to just be the quiet girl who people liked. Certainly if I was myself, people didn't really like me. Because gregarious girls aren't likable. Girls that laugh and have fun and speak up aren't likeable. girls that are willing to get on stage and speak, aren't likable.

They're obnoxious. That's the story I created in my head. And I held on to it for decades. I heard you, I heard you when you said you crave excitement and clarity and joy. I heard you when you said you wanted to be more productive, more energetic, more confident. I heard you when you said you feel invisible, and you've forgotten how to dream. And you know there's something more for you. I heard you. And it's why I developed my signature online program the radical empowerment method. Inside of the radical empowerment method, you will learn my proven methods to get you living life on your terms. living the life you desire, not some what someone else desires for you. It's my proven method to get you making decisions based on what you desire and not how much money is left in your bank account. It is my proven method to get you off the sidelines and into your strong, confident, amazing, joyful life. If you are ready to transform yourself into a radically empowered, radically joyful, radically productive radical superhero if you are ready To transform yourself into a healthy energized trailblazing badass, then head to the link in the show notes, grab the enrollment link and get enrolled in the radical empowerment method today, I will see you inside the method, and I cannot wait to watch your life transform. Have you ever had experiences like that in your life? Where the words of someone else so destroy you that you create a false story in your head?

Change your personality and try so hard to be someone you are not just to please someone who doesn't even deserve that from you? How do we break out of it? How do we decide to not let those words bother us so much? How do we let it go? Turn it around. Well realize, realize those words were never about you. When someone says their meanness directed towards you, it is about them. It's about their insecurities, their viewpoint. And quite frankly, isn't it isn't even something we should use or waste our energy on, let alone allow it to rewrite our stories. Listen, it's not about you. It's about them. I don't hold this against this gentleman. Now. He was a kid. I didn't realize that then, as a 13 year old who was hearing this from someone that I so highly respected who I thought was so old. It was devastating to me then, but he was a kid too. Those words weren't about me. They were coming from his own insecurities of not being that outgoing person. I was likable. My roommates, my camp mates, my my cabin mates truly liked me. My ability to make people laugh, to connect people with each other, to connect with them is a gift. His words hurt me. They were mean. They weren't about me. They came from his own insecurities. When someone says something mean about you understand it's not about you. It is their own insecurities. Also turn their words around. In my case, what I could have done was taken those words and realize that I have a voice and I'm willing to use it. I could have written this story that I have a voice that makes others laugh. That I help people feel encouraged, that I knew even then how to encourage people to go for their goals, how to talk to them, when they were feeling discouraged about not being able to sing a certain, a certain passage of a song and work with them until we did it together. Even then, even then that's who I was. I was willing to use my voice to encourage others. That's how I could have written my story. I could have turned that around. He may have meant it as a slam on my personality. But I now take those words the burger broadcasting system as compliment. I have a voice and I'm willing to use it. I have a voice and I am willing to use my stories to help others break out of the limiting molds that they find them in.

I have a voice and I am willing to use it to help others onto a road of empowerment, radical empowerment. I have a voice that I am willing to use to encourage, empower and motivate. Call me gregarious. I'm good with that. Call me too much. I'm good with that to call me outgoing. I sure am. I sure am. Listen, people are going to say things. Decide today that you are no longer going to be crushed by the words of someone else rise above that. You are stronger than their meanness, insensitivity and attempts to try and make you play small. You are worth everything you want to accomplish. Promise me you won't waste one more second on the mean words someone else says to you. Don't waste your energy. Be who you were created to be. live the life you were created to live. Don't play small for anyone. Rise above that level of mediocrity. You are better than that. You know how I know that because you are here listening to this podcast.

You're here because you Want to be radically empowered, you're here because you are amazing, you are enough and you are not too much. You're here because you are fabulous. Don't let the words of someone else crush you rise above them. No one gets to put you in a box. No one gets to hold you down. You get to decide to rise above that. You are worthy, you are fabulous. Don't ever forget that. Their words that they say to you are about them, their insecurities and turn those words around. Take what they meant for something mean and make it a positive in your life. You are fabulous. Promise me, you won't waste one more second, thinking about the mean words that someone else has said to you to try and hold you back. They only want to hold you back because they're too afraid to rise above but you're not. You're not afraid to rise above. You are radically empowered. You are becoming radically empowered. You are rising above your journal prompt 20 things about me that that are amazing are 20 things about me that are amazing. list them out. If you get stuck, ask one of your friends. What's amazing about me, they'll be able to rattle them off so fast. Because you are amazing. I love you. And I cannot wait to talk to you again.