Caregiving Advice with Drew Deraney
How to Reclaim Yourself While Caring for Others: Six Pillars of Family Health
When you step into the role of caregiver—whether by choice, circumstance, or unexpected necessity—it’s easy to become so focused on another person’s wellbeing that you forget your own. This is the reality Drew Deraney faced when he put everything on pause to care for his son, Matthew, who was diagnosed with autism at age 14.
In this episode of Coffee and Tea with CarrieVee, we explored Drew’s personal journey and the transformative framework he developed to help others navigate the often-overwhelming world of caregiving without losing themselves in the process.
1. The Wake-Up Call of Caregiving
Caring for someone else is deeply meaningful, but it also comes with invisible weight. Drew candidly shared how over time he stopped caring for himself, gaining over 40 pounds and letting key areas of his own life fall by the wayside. “I forgot myself,” he says.
It wasn’t until he took a hard look in the mirror—and revisited the wisdom in his own book—that he realized he needed to do things differently.
This became the genesis of the Six Pillars of Family Health, a guide not just for surviving caregiving, but for reclaiming your identity, your vitality, and your purpose along the way.
🧱 2. The Six Pillars of Family Health
The foundation of Drew’s caregiving philosophy centers on six critical areas of life and wellness:
P — Physical Health: This is the most visible—and often most neglected—pillar. Whether it’s nutrition, movement, or sleep, Drew emphasizes the importance of being physically well so you can show up for others and yourself.
I — Intellectual/Cognitive Health: Staying mentally sharp, curious, and engaged is essential, especially in seasons of stress. Cognitive stimulation and self-awareness help you remain proactive rather than reactive.
L — Love / Emotional Health: Emotional stability and connection are often pushed to the back burner in the caregiving world. But love for yourself is just as essential as love for the one you’re caring for.
L — Legacy / Financial Health: Money stress is real, especially when healthcare costs or time off work are involved. Building financial literacy and creating a sustainable support plan is part of thriving as a caregiver.
A — Awareness / Mental Health: Mindfulness, mindset, and mental flexibility are key to regaining control over your inner world—even when the external one feels unpredictable.
S — Spiritual / Energetic Health: Faith, energy, purpose—whatever grounds you, energizes you, and reminds you that you're not alone—this pillar often gets overlooked but is deeply healing.
And running through them all? Resilience. The R that ties everything together. You need strength and bounce-back ability to hold these pillars upright, and that begins with prioritizing your own wellness.
💡 3. Daily Tools and Mindset Shifts for Caregivers
If you’re wondering how to begin caring for yourself again, Drew offers practical, doable advice rooted in mindset mastery and micro-habits:
Start the Day with Wins: Drew stretches in bed before getting up. He makes the bed. He celebrates tiny victories first thing, because these actions tell your brain: You’ve already succeeded today.
Watch Your Language: The brain learns from what it hears. That means your self-talk matters. Replacing “I can’t” with “I get to” is more than a feel-good phrase—it reshapes your identity and energy.
Use Breathing & Mantras: Drew created a personal affirmation and breathing ritual:
Inhale: I am calm.
Hold: I am clear.
Exhale: I am courageous.
This simple sequence helps him reset emotionally and mentally during challenging moments.Practice Present Moment Gratitude: If you can sip a hot cup of coffee, that act alone is built on dozens of blessings—your breath, your limbs, your working appliances, your electricity, your resources. Drew teaches us to savor those layers. Gratitude shifts everything.
Journal for Reflection and Recovery: Drew and CarrieVee both emphasize journaling as a gateway to healing, especially in the recovery phase after caregiving ends. Whether you’re currently in the trenches or just stepping out, writing your way through is one of the most powerful tools you have.
📝 “Choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it for you.” — Drew Deraney
🌟 4. You Deserve to Be Well, Too
Caregiving doesn’t end with compassion for others—it begins with compassion for yourself. And you don’t have to wait for burnout or breakdown before giving yourself permission to be whole again.
Whether your role as a caregiver has just begun, or you’re rebuilding after it’s over, remember:
You are allowed to prioritize your physical and mental wellbeing.
You are allowed to seek support—from a coach, counselor, or community.
You are allowed to change direction, reset, and begin again.
And you are absolutely allowed to thrive.
About Drew Deraney:
As a dedicated Caregiver Family Health Coach, I am passionate about empowering individuals to reclaim their narratives. With an MBA and certifications in Mindset Mastery Coaching and Empathy Training, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to those navigating the complexities of caregiving and personal identity.
For Caregivers: I understand the challenges faced by those caring for individuals with autism spectrum disorder. The support services landscape can be overwhelming, and I am here to provide clarity and guidance. My mission is to care for the caregiver, ensuring that you have the tools and support needed to thrive on this journey.
Join me in transforming challenges into opportunities for growth. Let’s embark on this journey together.
Contact Drew: drew@mg.profitcompassion.com
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Radical Empowerment Method Book on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Bdp2BC
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