When Disappointment Hits Hard: Reframe, Rise, and Refuse to Stay Down

What do you do when you've done everything right—poured your heart into something, prepared relentlessly, and showed up fully—only to walk away with... disappointment?

That was me, just a few days ago.

In this episode of Coffee and Tea with CarrieVee, I open up about a very personal experience from a recent Toastmasters competition. I had trained hard, traveled far, and truly felt like I left it all on that stage. But when the winners were announced, my name wasn’t called—not because my speech didn’t connect, but because of a technical disqualification I never saw coming.

And that hurt. A lot.

The Moment That Changed Everything

Let’s be clear: I’m no stranger to competition. I know not everyone gets a trophy. I’ve lost before—and been okay with it. But this time was different.

This time, I was disqualified over something I had no control over. A technicality that could’ve been corrected long before I ever stepped on stage. One I never knew existed until it was too late.

The sting wasn’t about not placing. It was knowing I never had a chance in the first place.

Sitting in the Hurt

That night, I stayed in my hotel room. I skipped the lobby, the dinner invites, the polite small talk. Not because I was embarrassed—but because I needed space. Space to feel the sadness. The disappointment. The anger.

I let myself feel all of it. Fully.
And I gave myself the grace to not be okay for a little while.

But I also knew I couldn’t stay there.

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What I Learned in the Hurt

Over the following days, I did a lot of thinking. A lot of journaling. And I realized that this experience, as painful as it was, held a handful of powerful lessons I now get to carry—and share—with you.

Lesson One: Pray... and mean it.

That morning, I had prayed, “God, this is yours.” And I meant it. Even if I didn’t love the outcome, I trusted the purpose. There was growth in this moment, even if I didn’t see it yet.

Lesson Two: Feel every emotion—but don’t make decisions in them.

In the moment, I was ready to quit Toastmasters altogether. But big emotions don’t make wise decisions. Giving myself time created the space I needed to respond—not react.

Lesson Three: Listen to those who know more than you.

I reached out to trusted mentors, friends, and people in leadership. And they showed me that I wasn’t alone—that this wasn’t the end of the road, just a hard bend in it.

Lesson Four: Reframe the narrative.

The very speech I gave on stage was about not letting other people’s words—or actions—define you. Life handed me an immediate opportunity to practice what I preach. I chose to reframe this loss as fuel, not failure.

This Is What Strength Looks Like

Strength isn’t pretending you're not hurt. It’s sitting in the pain, then rising anyway.
It’s saying, “This won’t define me.”
It’s deciding to keep going, even when you don’t feel like it.

And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Next year, I’ll be back on that Toastmasters stage. I’ll be more prepared than ever. And I’ll be speaking not in spite of this experience—but because of it.