Just Answer The Question Please.
What does it mean to step into your pow pow shoes.
It means learning to laugh and find joy even when life is hard. Especially when life is hard. It means digging deep into who you are, why you're here and what you were created to do. It is part of the radical empowerment method. Getting off the sidelines of your life and stepping into those pow pow shoes. Stepping into your confidence your radiance your best brilliant self. Being unapologetically you. I have been working on my book the radical empowerment method for over a year. And it is almost here. And you get to be one of the first to have it. Head to the link in the bio and get your name on the waitlist and you will be the first to know I am your biggest fan. I love you get your name on this waitlist. Today on coffee and tea with Carrie Vee, we're talking about just answering the question. Just answer the question.
Have you ever been with a group of people and someone says, Well, where do you want to eat for dinner? And everybody says I don't care. And it takes over an hour to pick where you're going to eat for dinner because no one will just speak up and say what they truly want. It's so frustrating. It is so incredibly frustrating. Because the thing is, you know that everybody in that group has an opinion. Everybody knows where they want to eat. Just nobody wants to speak up and say it. When my mom lived with us, one of the things that my mom and I sparred over the most argued the most over was that she would never answer the question. Mom, would you like a graham cracker? Well, graham crackers are good. Yeah, I know. They're good. Do you want one? Well, it's a lot of trouble for you to go get that Mum, I asked you if you want a graham cracker. This was most of our conversations, whether it was about where we were going, when we were going what she wanted to take what she wanted to eat for a meal, she would never just answer the question. And it's so frustrating. And I asked her one time, why don't you just answer the question. And she would say she told me because I was taught that's impolite. I was taught that's very, very selfish. You don't say what you truly want. Because you want to defer to the other person and let them choose. What if they won't choose? You can go back and forth for ever about this. What would you like to watch tonight? Honey? I don't care. What would you like to watch? Or whatever you want to watch? Well, really, I just want what you want to watch. I don't know. Well, what would you like? I don't know. I just said that you choose? No, I said you choose. Do you see how this could go on for ever? So much easier. If it's like this.
Hey, what would you like to watch tonight? Hey, Vampire Diaries. Sounds great. Perfect. Let's put that on. Do you see how much easier that is? And how much less frustrating that is? But we hear it all the time. Open up your ears and start listening to conversations around you. You're going to hear a conversation that is something along these lines every single day where people just don't speak up and say what they truly want. And so I got to thinking well, is it because they don't want to say what they truly want because as my mom said, That's selfish because you want the other person to choose Or is it because we don't know what we truly want? And so instead of answering the question, we just say, well, you choose, because we don't know what we want. I think there is probably a little bit of both going on, I think there probably is that many of us were taught No, you'll always let the other person choose. Well, what if the other person was taught the same? Do you see how that could go on forever and ever and ever? dodging answering a question, because you don't want to seem rude? Well, what if I pick Chinese and he really wants he really wants to have Italian food tonight? or What have I say, Let's stay home. But my friend really, really wanted to go out. But they're thinking the same thing.
One of you has to say what you truly want, in order to start a jumping point for a conversation. My husband and I have made an agreement that one one of us ask the question, we actually answer it. And we're allowed to discuss it from there. But what but the person who is asked has to actually answer what movie would you like to go see this week? We answer. Now, there might be some discussion. And we may decide on a different movie together. But the person who is asked must answer the question, much less frustrating, really doesn't take as much time. And we're learning this is the most important part, to speak, and know what we truly want. We spend so much time trying to guess what the other person or the other people in our group want, that we don't sit down and really think about what we truly want. It's okay for us to speak what we want. And it's okay for us to dig deep and know what we really want. But most of us don't take the time to think about it. Or we don't let ourselves Think about it. Because what of what we really want is against the mainstream. What of everyone in the group says why I want Italian and you want Chinese Speak up, speak up anyway. It doesn't mean you're always going to get your way. But it does mean you're going to get real with yourself and know what it is you really want.
Say what you need, say what you want, and dig deep and be clear on what you need and want. No one can know what you need. If you don't speak it. No one is going to spend the time guessing what you want, because they're too busy trying to figure out what they want. Or they're trying to figure out what you might say, except what you're going to say is something totally different, because you have never said what you need.
That sounded really confusing, didn't it? If I don't let people know what I need, and instead let them spend their time guessing what I need. I may never get what I need. Because I've never spoken at and it's the same with you. I'm going to challenge you today on this very short episode of Coffee and Tea with Gary Vee to get deep on what you really want and need and then speak it. When somebody asks you what movie you want to see. Tell them when somebody asks you if you want ice cream? Answer, honestly, yes, I do or no I don't. Not based on what you think they want you to say but what you want. Where would you like to go on vacation? Speak it out? What would you like to do this afternoon? Speak what you really want? How are you feeling? Stop using the word fine. Say how you really feel? And if there's something you need, speak it. I'm really lonely today. I could use the five minute conversation. Say what you mean? And mean what you say? and answer the questions. Stop beating around the bush, all around the mulberry bush The monkey chase the weasel. Yeah, that's what we do when people ask us questions. We keep going around the bush again and again and again and again. And we never come to a resolution. Or finally something is chosen. And it's not what either one of you really want.
Say what you mean and mean what you say? Answer the question. Please. Just answer the question. Your journal prompt today is the thing or things that I truly want are I write them down. Make lists. My favorite restaurants are my favorite movies are my favorite things to do in my free time are. Get real with yourself know what it is you want. Then when somebody asks you a question you can answer because you've taken the time to think about what it is you really want. I challenge you, I dare you. I love you.