Say What You Need To Say
I was speaking with the interviewee before we actually hit record on my podacst. And we were talking about my mom dying and different things that I wish I had done. And I wish I had said, and the whole gist of the conversation was, say what you need to say to the things you need to do. When you look back over time, and you look back, when there's no longer an opportunity to do things with someone, your mind goes to Gosh, I wish I had done this. And I wish I had done that. And I wish someone had told me to do this. And so this whole podcast is the things or the thing that I wish someone had said to me. suggestions that I wish people had made to me. We all know that life doesn't go on forever. At the top, the clock is ticking. And eventually it does stop. We know this. But do we really know this? And this is the conversation I was having with this person. This person's much younger than me. And it was interesting to be able to share things as someone in her mid 50s with someone much younger. And to hear them say you know, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm so thankful you told me and so I decided to do a short very short podcast on this. Well, I think it's going to be short We'll see. Something that I wish that I had done with my mother before she passed on before she danced into heaven. was to go through what was important to her. My mom loves jewelry. I know where I get my love of bling from as I've been going through her jewelry boxes since she has passed. I never did that. That was her. That was her property that was her possessions. And those she lived with us for three years. The last three years of her life. Her room was her domain. And I didn't go through things I didn't touch things. That was her space.
But if I had said to her mom, let's just go through your jewelry box. Tell me about every piece and why it's important to you and why you kept it. She has a necklace that I pulled out of her jewelry box out of one of her jewelry box. boxes. Remember I just said she was she loved her bling. And I realized now where I got my love of bling from because I had no idea how many pieces of jewelry my mom really had most of it costume jewelry, but she loved it. There were pieces that I pulled out that I remembered her getting in Hawaii when she went the first time with my dad way back when I was in high school. And I remember I might have been in junior high. I'm pretty sure I was in junior high. And I remember her showing me this. These these necklaces, carved out of wood different animals carved out of wood, and then a beaded one that she actually got me a matching one of some things I remembered. Other things I didn't remember. And some things I don't know if she bought or if my dad gave her one necklace. I remember her wearing when I was a little girl, like five, six years old. I remember her wearing this necklace and it's kind of plastic beads blue and gold. And it's tied together with copper colored shiny string. It's hard to explain it over a podcast but someone in church made it for her. I believe I remember her name Mrs. match it made this necklace for my mom. It's not particularly pretty.
I don't remember thinking it was all that pretty when I was a little girl but my mom wore it all the time.
But years went on and she really kind of stopped wearing it. But it's still in her jewelry box. And I would love to ask her Mom, why did you keep this? Mom? Where did this piece come from? Why was it important for you to hold on to this broken necklace? Where did this ring come from mom. It shoved away in a back corner. Where Where did it come from? And why was it important to keep it I wish that I had taken the time to sit and ask her about every single piece in those jewelry boxes. I wish that I had taken the time to go through her books with her and ask her when she read them and if she liked them and what what does she like about them? I wish I had some of the clothes she has that I know she had when I was a little girl. I wish I had asked her why she wanted to keep them. What was so special about them did she wear them on a special date with my dad. Going through her things. I found my dad's wallet still intact from when he passed away seven years ago. And I wish that I had known she kept it so that I could take her hands and say I miss him to mom.
I miss him too.
I wish that I had taken more time to tell her how much I missed him too. And how much I miss my brother. Say what you need to say. My motto my tagline. In my business is life is short. Choose wisely. A message given to me by my brother Life is short choose wisely. We don't have all the time in the world The clock is ticking. Say what you need to say. ask the questions spend the time. My mother was diagnosed with cancer on May 3 and passed away on May 22. We had 19 days 19 days. I had no idea it would be that fast. I still am having trouble processing the fact that she is gone. And I can't ask her about all those pieces of jewelry anymore. Or the silly shirt that she kept. Or the books that were on her bookshelf. I can't ask her about any of those things anymore.
But there are other people in my life that I can spend that time with and ask those questions of and say those things. Think through your life. Who do you have? That you could ask those questions of? What do you have that you want to say things to make peace with? Life is short, my friends, choose wisely. We don't have to spend every waking moment working. We can pick up the phone, we can send a message, send a card. One of the things I have challenged myself on is to send a card out every day to someone to spend that time to say what I need to say. I challenge you to do the same. Say what you need to say. ask the questions, be there. Send the card. Give the smile. Take the walk. Take the break. Stop taking your phone, on every vacation with you. answering emails while you're at work or when you're off hours. Spend time with those you love. Ask questions, have the conversations.
Don't leave things unsaid because they feel uncomfortable. Because wishing you had said them as a whole lot more uncomfortable. Say what you need to say. I love you. I am your biggest fan. Your journal prompt today. The things I want to say to my loved ones are write them down and then go say them. Say what you need to say.