The Berger Broadcasting System
LIfe is Short, Choose Wisely. That’s my motto, my mission, my goal.
Choose wisely.
We have one life - and if our lives are going to make a positive difference in the lives of others, we will need to choose wisely. We will need to find our voices, use our voices, and let go of the negative voices that threaten to keep us paralyzed in fear, shame, doubt, and our comfort zones.
I invite you to take a walk down memory lane with me. For this walk, you will need to know a few things about me. Well, actually, just one. My maiden name was Berger. Like a hamburger. Only just the Berger part.
Back to memory lane.
Have you ever gone to summer camp?
I mean. SUMMER CAMP! The FUN. The CAMPFIRES. The SINGING around the campfires. The laughter. The friendships.
And…..
The HORRIBLE food that we convinced ourselves was the best food EVER. The stuffy cabins with bunk beds and something that was SUPPOSED to be a mattress. But really it was more like a torture chamber with springs sticking up that attacked you in the middle of the night.
And the BUGS. Bugs that flew, crawled, slithered and bit.
But let’s not forget the best part! - The FUN CARE PACKAGES and letters from home. My grandmother would send her famous banana nut bread and chocolate chip cookies from home. She would use popcorn as packing peanuts. And she would send enough for an army. My friends and cabin mates LOVED my grandmother’s care packages. And they came quite regularly.
One time my dad, a musician, sent a box of nose flutes for the entire camp. Nose flutes. I had to look this up to see if they are still a thing. Turns out, they are.
Back to the story. Courtesy of my dad, an entire box of nose flutes showed up in a care package. Enough for everyone. My dad had included a note that these were “not to be used by anyone experiencing a cold or nasal congestion of any kind as it could be quite messy.” What amazing fun we all had playing our silly, plastic nose flutes. They were a HUGE hit. We even used them in one of our weekly concerts.
And then there were the camp counselors - who always seemed so OLD. But let’s be honest. The counselors were really just kids who had happened to have graduated from high school. Maybe JUST graduated from high school. And inevitably, us young teenage girls would have a crush on one of the “older” counselors. It gave us something to talk about as we were falling asleep on the torturous mattresses.
At the camp I went to, the guy’s counselors would stand under the windows around 9 pm each evening and sing us a song from The Music Man musical - “Good Night Ladies. Good night ladies. Good night ladies. We’re going to leave you now.” Then, of course, we would start discussing which of the guys’ counselors was the cutest. Come on. If you have been a teenage girl, you know exactly what I'm talking about. No judgement zone!
I started going to camp in the summer of 1979. I was 13. In junior high. And, if you haven’t picked up on it with all of the music references, it was a music camp. I went for two weeks my first year and for a month to 6 weeks every year after through my senior year of high school.
It was intense. We had lessons a few times a week for an hour. I studied both voice and piano. For each hour of lessons a week, you were required an hour of practice a DAY. So, two hours of vocal practice and an hour of piano practice daily. Sundays off.
Then there was choir practice. Symphony practice if you were in the symphony. Chapel in the morning.
And a concert every single Saturday night.
Like I said, it was intense.
So, when we could let down, we just had FUN.
I was gregarious. I loved to laugh. Sing. Just. Have. Fun.
This is where you remember that my maiden name was Berger.
There was this counselor that I just thought was everything. And when you are 13 you KNOW what that means. I hung on every word he said. He was probably 18 or so, but in my eyes he was all knowing, all wonderful. Remember. I was 13.
And one day it came back to me that he called me “The Berger Broadcasting System.”
Because I was “loud”. I was “too much”. I was “over the top.”
Remember I loved to have fun. I loved to laugh. I loved to make OTHERS laugh.
I can remember being devastated. Heartbroken. Absolutely crushed.
I cried for hours. And he apologized. He actually felt horrible. I’m sure he had no idea how his words were going to affect me. But they did.
But they didn’t just affect me then. They affected me for YEARS.
DECADES.
I vowed that I would learn to be quiet like my roommateS. In my mind, what this counselor was saying was that likable girls are quiet. Loud girls are ….obnoxious.
I vowed I would not speak up any longer.
I would Just. Keep. Quiet.
I created a story in my head that in order to be truly liked, I had to learn to be like the “likable girls.”
For years I tried to be who I was not. I rarely was who I AM. That happy, go lucky girl who loved to laugh and make others laugh stayed hidden. SHE wasn’t likable. SHE was obnoxious. SHE was too much.
Those words…The Berger Broadcasting System, - kept me stuck for decades. For almost 40 years those words played in my head like a broken record. And when I WOULD be me - I would immediately berate and shame myself for being unable to be likable and quiet.
Have you had experiences like that in your life? Where the words of someone else so destroyed you that you created a false story in your head, changed your personality and tried so hard to be someone you are NOT just to please someone who likely doesn’t even care.
How do we break out? How do we decide to not let those words bother us so much?
How do we let it go, turn it around?
Realize those words were never about you. When someone says something derogatory and it’s directed towards you, it is about THEM. THEIR insecurities. THEIR viewpoint, And quite frankly - it isn’t even something we should waste energy on let alone allow it to re-write it our stories. Listen. It isn’t about you. It’s about them.
Reframe their words. In my case, what I could have done was taken those words and realized that I HAVE A VOICE THAT I’M WILLING TO USE. I could have reframed his words and created the story that I have a voice that makes others laugh. I have a voice that helps others feel encouraged and go for their goals. And eventually that’s what I did. He may have meant those words, “The Berger Broadcasting System,” as a slam on my personality; but I now take it as a compliment. I have a voice that I’m willing to use to encourage, empower, and motivate others. Call me gregarious. I’m good with it. Call me too much. Too much what? Joy? I’ll take it. Call me outgoing. I sure am.
Decide today that you are no longer going to be crushed by the words of someone else. Rise above. You are stronger than their meanness, insensitivity, and attempts to try and make you play small. You are worth everything you want to accomplish. Promise me you won’t waste one more second on the mean words someone else says to you.
You are worthy. You are fabulous.
Realize their words were never about you; they were about them.
Reframe their words. YOU are in charge of your story, not them.
Decide. Decide that their words will no longer define you.
Life is Short, Choose Wisely.
We have one life - and if our lives are going to make a positive difference in the lives of others, we will need to choose wisely.
Choose to use your voice.
The world needs you to use your voice.
Life is Short. Choose wisely.
Journal prompt: 20 amazing things about me are________.
Wow! People are so lucky to have you in their lives!!